Wednesday, October 23, 2019

New Safe Decorating Ideas Satire

We recently spoke with Rhonda of Safe Renewal about their new business model of restoring security containers and giving them bold new lives.
“We prefer to call them safes as opposed to security container”, she reminds me again. “The word, safe just provides a more comforting tone than the more clinical description of GSA Approved Security Container. Because we are providing a “safe” place to keep classified documents.”
In fact she shows me a banner with the Safe Renewal mission printed in fancy lettering: Refurbishing old safes for new purposes.
Safe Renewal is looking for customers, in the Facility Security Officer (FSO) discipline who would like to provide security containers a zippy new look.
“The traditional metallic and gray safes are so drab. That’s why I found it very hard to work in the FSO and security environment. Drab grays, oranges, blues, and reds, traditionally reflective of classified environments and markings always made me feel, well, blue.” 
Rhonda seems to reflect pensively for a moment, before adding. “That’s when I found my purpose, my calling, my mission to restore vibrant colors and cheery environments where I can.”
She then discusses how she has acquired old broken containers and using various media, restores them to showroom appeal.
She relates how they artistically apply paints and adhesive textures to carefully cover the original surfaces areas making them appear new and restored. 
“We recently acquired some battered safes during a liquidation sale. A cleared defense contractor went under and sold everything. By the time we got there most of it was gone except for a few broken ones nobody wanted. It was nice of them to provide the combination of 25-50-25, by the way. We are able to put some putty and paint over some holes that were drilled into it. We also put on new locks to replace broken ones. Now they are as good as new.”
Awestruck, I inquired about sales.
“Well, we just opened, so nobody has bought those safes yet. We are still awaiting orders for folks to have us refurbish their drab ones, but nothing yet. We hope to begin advertising in security newsletters and professional organizations so that we can meet our potential customers. It would be great to get a government contractor, work with GSA, or partner with Defense Counterintelligence and Security Agency (DCSA). Hopefully business will kick in soon; I just don’t want to lose hope or have someone else steal our business model.”
She continues to explain her strategy. All in all it is pretty detailed and seems to leave nothing out. Her future plans include speaking at security training events such as ASIS International and NCMS in hopes changing the safe landscape. “We want to replace and refurbish safes one CDC and one FSO at a time Imagine a rainbow trail linking all the CDCs together. Don’t you think this is just the type of cooperation DCSA is looking for?” 

Jeffrey W. Bennett, ISP is the owner of Red Bike Publishing Red Bike Publishing . He regularly consults, presents security training, and recommends export compliance and intellectual property protection countermeasures. He is an accomplished writer of non-fiction books, novels and periodicals. Jeff is an expert in security and has written many security books including: "Insider's Guide to Security Clearances" and "DoD Security Clearances and Contracts Guidebook", "ISP Certification-The Industrial Security Professional Exam Manual", and NISPOM/FSO Training".

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